How should I use my television?

There is this item called television in my house. It looks rather big and is very heavy. I placed a biscuit underneath the TV to check the heaviness of it and I was surprised.

I yelled “blasphemy, blasphemy!” immediately. My TV crushed the biscuit into pieces! I was thinking of placing my thumb underneath the TV but then my pet cat slapped me. It stared at me and said, “Look at me dammit! Look into eyes! I love you so don’t do anything stupid” and that was the first time my cat looked immensely sexy to me. The way it threw it’s paws to pause my stupidity (pun not intended). What a kitty! And no I don’t support bestiality. There is something called “animal love”.

But when I read the manual, I realised “this object is certainly not used for breaking things at all.” And that was when I promised myself to read the manual before trying to use a high-priced object. But frankly speaking, I rarely listen to promises that I make to myself.

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